Beta Males, Explained: Defining Alpha and Beta

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Since I’ve been discussing gender role issues, several readers have asked about the definition of “alpha” and “beta” males. So today we will try to define alpha and beta males by their main characteristics:

 Alpha Male: An alpha, in the simplest of terms, is sexually-arousing to females.

Some specific characteristics that almost always encompass alpha behavior include:

  • Their self is their point of focus
  • Does not need approval or permission
  • Assertive
  • Confident
  • Seeks risk and danger
  • Decisive
  • Stands out
  • Dominant
  • Welcomes criticism
  • “Expanding” body language
  • Calm
  • Indifferent
  • Speaks clearly and slowly
  • Sets trends
  • Attractive, fit, stylish look
  • Movements are slow and smooth
  • Controls emotions
  • Charismatic
  • Extroverted
  • Socially-skilled
  • Sex is recreational
  • Makes eye contact
  • Secure, not prone to jealousy or envy
  • Says no far more often than he says yes

Beta Male: A beta, in contrast to an alpha, does not arouse females.

Specific Beta Characteristics Are As Follows:

  • Place others (especially their “soul mate”) as the point of reference
  • Seeks approval from others
  • Defers to others
  • Avoids risk and danger
  • Passive
  • Unsure of themselves
  • Fits in
  • Avoids confrontation
  • Sloppy, unattractive look
  • Uses guilt and shame to manipulate others
  • Sex is used to affirm her appreciation
  • Continually asks if everything is all right
  • Develops a great deal of resentment
  • Shy
  • Vulnerable
  • Pouts and engages in other passive-aggressive behaviors
  • Indecisive
  • “Shrinking” defensive body language
  • Mumbles a lot
  • Prone to emotional outbursts
  • Cannot accept criticism without taking it personally
  • Follows trends
  • Fidgety
  • Needy
  • Introverted
  • Insecure, paranoid
  • Avoids eye contact
  • Incapable of saying no

Alpha is Variable

It’s important to note there’s a degree of individuality with my definitions. One dude may be an alpha (arousing) to one woman but may be a beta (not arousing) to another. Same behaviors, different interpretations. Generally, the higher the value of the female, the more “alpha” a man has to be to get the juices flowing.

Also, a man’s standing can change over the course of a relationship. If a dude starts as an alpha, the woman is going to attempt to change his behaviors to make him more suitable for long-term relationships. As a general rule, dudes tend to start of more alpha, then gravitate towards being more beta the longer they’re in the relationship. This is one of the major reasons the quality and quantity of sex decreases after the honeymoon period – the dude just isn’t arousing as he once was. His woman continuously assesses him using shit tests with the goal of assuring herself she really did select the highest value male she could land (aka “hypergamy.”)

The Societal Impact of the Invasive Species We Call the Beta Male

We’ll begin to see the beta male is a surprisingly disruptive force that basically acts like an invasive species encroaching on an ecosystem – it kills some things and causes others to grow unchecked.

How Betas Ruin Society

One of my favorite pass times involves contemplating the societal effects of various movements, ideas, or constructs. The rise of the beta male is no exception. Back in the day, most men were alphas. Women were sexually attracted to these men. The women would choose the highest value male their own value could attract. They would then spend the rest of their lives “fighting” a perpetual battle. He would exert his alpha-ness (supplied passion to the relationship); she would attempt to tame that alpha-ness (supplied intimacy to the relationship.) The net effect was the natural cycling of passion and intimacy, which kept the couple happy indefinitely. The system wasn’t infallible, but it did work more than it didn’t.

Today, there are far fewer alpha males. Some women, usually the highest-value women (young, attractive, smart, funny, etc.), can attract these men who are then “tamed” just like grandma and grandpa’s relationship. The rest of the women have to settle for some version of the beta. Because betas cannot keep women interested beyond about a year or so, all sorts of weird societal trends emerge. I’m going to avoid attaching a moral judgment to any of these, but some do create positive outcomes while others create negative outcomes.

Gave rise to serial monogamy. Serial monogamy, where we move from one monogamous relationship to the next, developed because beta males are incapable of injecting passion into a relationship. That causes the quality and quantity of sex to decrease substantially after the first year or two, which ultimately undermines the relationship. So we end it. Then we look for another. This cycle repeats itself about every six to eight years.

Screw career women by giving false hope about the marketplace. For decades, we’ve been telling women they can “have it all”, which means they can go to college and start a career and delay getting married and starting a family. In many cases, we encourage women to wait as late as their late-30’s before they settle down. We DON’T tell women that the market for “high-value” men dries up pretty quickly. Any alpha on the market is going to receive A LOT of female attention, and those males are going to choose the highest value female available… which is going to be somewhere around the age of 23-25. All that’s left for the remaining women are younger beta males still looking for their soul mate or older beta males that have recently divorced.

These males, because they believe women love to be placed on a pedestal, will usually use a shotgun approach where they shower several women with attention and attempt to prove their willingness to defer to them in hopes one will bite. This is most commonly seen when women post a selfie on social media and scores of dudes comment on “how pretty she looks.” The woman, who may be relatively low-value, develops an inflated sense of her own worth. Her inflated value causes her to believe she can land a high-value male. So she hits the dating scene and quickly learns all those males that were giving her attention are actually spineless vagina-drying betas. In the unlikely event she manages to land an alpha for a one-night stand, he has no intention of committing because he has better options. She’s forced to either settle for a beta (who she’ll end up divorcing in a few years anyway) or continue playing the dating game in a market that gets worse and worse with each passing year. She’s a victim of supply and demand. Specifically, she’s a victim of a market saturated by beta males that compulsively boosted her self-confidence which gave her an unrealistic perception of the sexual marketplace.

It’s harder to tame today’s alphas. The more males choose to play the beta role, the more valuable alpha males become. When women say “where have all the good men gone?”, they’re not talking about betas (as beta males would like to believe.) They’re talking about alphas. Because the alpha value is inflated, the competition for their affection is stiff. If a woman manages to land an alpha, he has to work harder to keep him interested. He will receive a lot of female attention, so she has to continually prove her worth to him. This instability is just like the instability that kept grandma and grandpa together, only it’s even more powerful. If you see one of these couples today, you’ll know it. They ooze happiness and contentment. It’s such a contrast from every other couple with the frumpy, naggy wife and the fat, pussy-whipped husband, you can’t help but notice. The alpha is the envy of many women, especially those that begin to realize they’ve dramatically overestimated to market of available alpha males. The woman in this relationship is the envy of every beta male because, quite frankly, she maintains that sexiness she had at the very beginning of the relationship. In these couples, the honeymoon slowed down but never really died.

Anyway, that alpha is harder to tame because alphas realize they’re unicorns. They know they’re sharks swimming in an ocean of beta seals. They’re not restrained by common beta thought processes like “she’s out of my league” or “I’d never have a chance with her.” To the alpha, every woman is in his league regardless of age, attractiveness, or relationship status. The only women that are really unobtainable are those in relationships with fellow alphas. Those women have maximized hypergamy and, unless their alpha is a low-value alpha, realized they’re far better off than the women left fighting over betas. The women that land an alpha keep them with the best tool in their toolbox: A steady diet of advertising sex.

Increases teen and out-of-wedlock pregnancies. The increase in beta males has had a weird effect on what could best be described as “hookup culture.” There are basically a small number of alpha men that spend their high school, college, and 20’s getting all the women they can handle. Because they’re competing with beta men, it’s easy pickings. This also means alphas are less likely to commit to long-term relationships and marriage due to the allure of novel pussy. These were the men that women used to “land” in their late teens to early 20’s. Women could land beta males at this stage, but since their own value is high, they’re not going to commit to a low-value male. Since women are told they can have it all, they’re not about to cash out with a beta when they believe they can land an alpha right after they take care of college and career-building.

This trend results in a lot of hookups between alphas and younger women. That results in the occasional accidental pregnancy, or the occasional “accidental” pregnancy intended to entrap an alpha in the hopes of taming him (which is why you use condoms, boys.) Either way, babies are being conceived outside of a committed relationship. Some couples may stay together; many do not. The net result is a lot of single mothers and broken homes.

Increases divorce rate, single motherhood, welfare, etc. This is sort of tied to the last point but expands a little bit. Because beta males cannot maintain successful relationships beyond a few years, we see significant increases in divorces. This results in a lot of household incomes being split in half forcing the entire family closer to poverty, which increases the burden on social services.

Makes us fat. There’s a curiously predictable trend I’ve noticed. Most single people keep themselves in pretty good shape. That makes sense; fitness is attractive to both sexes. I’ve also noticed couples where the male is an alpha tend to stay in pretty good shape. That makes sense; part of that passion and intimacy ebb and flow is due to both people having to continually “qualify” for each other (prove they’re better than other options out there.) I’ve also noticed relationships where the male is a beta tend to let themselves go. A lot. Both people will start the relationship relatively fit. They go through the honeymoon period as-is. Once that ends, they both start gaining weight, paying less attention to grooming, dress worse, and generally just become messes. This makes logical sense because the woman isn’t being sexually aroused by her beta male mate and not initiating sex, so the male eventually gives in to the laziness of becoming a couch potato. Because his value is sinking, she doesn’t have to worry about other women stealing him away, thus all sex is maintenance sex. She’s doing it out of duty, not genuine desire. She lets herself go because she doesn’t have to stay fit to hold his attention. This effect is reinforced because, due to his beta-ness, he continues to shower her with positive attention. He’s inadvertently reinforcing her downward-trending attractiveness.

This trend always continues until a breaking point which occurs when one or both people mentally and emotionally throw in the towel. One of the clearest signs a relationship is about to end is when one member (more often the woman) suddenly hits the gym and starts working on themselves. They’ve realized they’ve let themselves go and are prepping to hit the market.

Helps our economy. Part of the beta male belief system is that a woman’s affection can be bought. It’s the “if I buy her flowers, dinner, a movie, a diamond tennis bracelet, this card from Hallmark, this giant stuffed teddy bear, and this raspberry Slushie, she’ll give me sex. Yes, that’s a supreme irony of the beta male “I’m doing this for social justice” mindset – they’re attempting to prove a woman is their equal by essentially treating her like a prostitute.

It doesn’t work.

Female desire, under no circumstance, can be bought. Or negotiated. This doesn’t stop the beta male from trying, however. Betas will spend a ridiculous amount of cash on a woman in an attempt to prove his worthiness. In essence, he’s appealing to the provisioning and security side of her innate hypergamy. The beta male will usually combine this with the aforementioned “pedestal” behaviors. The net result is a boost to capitalism.

Female “type” fetishes increase. Beta men chronically underestimate their value on the sexual market, even for their low-value beta status. A guy that might be a “7” if he were an alpha may be a “5” as a beta, but he has so little confidence in himself he considers himself to be a “3.” Worse, he’s going to overvalue every woman he meets (which is a natural function of placing women on pedestals.) A woman that may have been a “3” herself will be rated as a “6” to him. The result is beta males never approach women they deem “out of their league”, even in cases where the guy is clearly of higher value than the woman. The beta that’s actually a “5” (and could be a “7” if he dropped the beta act) would be intimidated by a woman he believes is a “6” that’s really a “3.”

This has all sorts of weird effects, including beta men creating fetishes for low-value women. The best example of this would be “MILFs” (Moms I’d Like to Fuck), which are also known as “cougars.” Other examples could include BBWs, amputees, grannies, etc. All of these groups are becoming more popular because beta males believe these are the women that are “in their league.” As such, they become the object of their fantasies.

The porn industry explodes. Beta males aren’t eunuchs. They have just as much (or almost as much) testosterone flowing through their veins as their alpha brethren. The difference? Alphas are satisfying their needs with women. Betas are using their hand. Or a Fleshlight. The result is a shit-ton of Internet sites and bandwidth dedicated to porn. The adult entertainment industry has become one of the most powerful commercial powerhouses in our modern world thanks almost entirely to beta males’ inability to score. Aside from that brief sliver of time during the honeymoon phase of their relationships when they’re getting as much ass as their alpha male cohorts, beta males IN relationships watch porn and masturbate as much as beta males NOT in relationships.

Gave rise to polyamory and the “hot wife” phenomenon. Polyamory is a type of consensual nonmonogamy where the members of a relationship are free to enter intimate relationships with other people. Polyamory was one of the types of social sexuality “Hotwifing” is a form of consensual nonmonogamy where only the wife has sex with other men.

Either way, both have experienced a substantial increase in popularity over the last few decades partly because of the proliferation of beta males. The fundamental problem with beta male-based relationships is the inability of the male to sexually arouse his partner. Polyamory circumvents this problem in two ways – it adds sexual novelty to the mix (two beta males can be played off each other to sort of creating the same desire as one alpha) and it adds more potential provisioning to satisfy the security aspect to a woman’s hypergamy drive. Adding additional women also gives the beta male novelty, which can be used to sort of creating a honeymoon period that lasts longer than regular pair-bonding.

Hotwifing solves the beta male problem in another way – it allows a woman to indulge in hot sex with alphas while still keeping her beta man for security and provisioning. This has a net effect of keeping her satisfied and allowing him to get some post “I just fucked an alpha” exciting sex.

Women become the voice of what men want. Back in the day, men displayed the characteristics they knew turned women on, and women displayed characteristics they knew turned men on. At some point, however, we fell into a pattern where the beta male started asking women what they wanted. Women, not always conscious of the dual nature of their hypergamy, responded that women wanted nice, respectful men. The beta males took that to the extreme and started embracing weakness, vulnerability, and passivity as the traits “women really want.”

That shift has caused women to begin defining what men want in a woman, and that hasn’t gone well. No other area has been affected quite like body image. Specifically, women have come to believe that men prefer a far thinner “ideal” than they really do, which has led to an explosion of eating disorders. Women believe men prefer thin women, so they strive to reach that ideal. Men generally do find thinner women more attractive than heavier women, but there’s a very definite point of diminishing returns. Far too many women go wayyyy past that point.

Another example is slut-shaming. Generally speaking, men love women that love sex. In other words, men love sluts. Women, however, do not. Back in the day, women would call a woman a slut in an attempt to disqualify a woman as a potential mate (“you don’t want to date her, she’s a slut. She’ll cheat on you the first chance she gets.”) That held considerable weight before serial monogamy and consensual nonmonogamy became more popular. Now the only dudes that really care about female purity are the betas looking for that special soul mate. Even then, they’ll gladly overlook a party-girl past if they’re sufficiently convinced the woman will appreciate his willingness to sacrifice his dignity and self-respect for her love.

The quality of men decreases substantially. Back in the day, men were ambitious. They had goals, and they worked their asses off to reach those goals. They were focused on becoming the best man they could be. They knew that determination toward something better was irresistible to women, so that’s how they attracted a mate. That mate became an accessory to their life.

Today, almost all men make women the focus of their lives, not an external goal. The result: Guys don’t accomplish nearly as much. They’re not driven to succeed in business, conquer nations, invent the next revolutionary hair-removal system, or even plug away at a blue-collar job until retirement. The focus on supporting women in an attempt to gain their affection (aka “pussy”) could be successful, but beta males have no idea what actually turns women on.

The net result is a growing pool of men that really don’t have a lot to offer. we don’t do as well in school as we used to, we don’t graduate college as often as we used to, we don’t make as much money as we used to, etc. When women say “where have all the good men gone?”, that’s not just because they’ve overestimated their value on the open market – men actually are decreasing in quality.

Male fraternal organizations disappeared. We used to have quite a few male-only places where men could go to interact with other men. They could discuss their careers, family life, and relationship issues without female interference. Over time, more and more beta males, under the guise of “gender equality”, started allowing women into these places. Only it wasn’t about gender equality. It was a misguided attempt to get laid. Men allow women into men-only places because they believe women will appreciate the gesture and repay with sex. Also, it gives beta men another opportunity to try to unlock the supposed secrets to turning a woman on.

This disappearance of male fraternal organizations (aka “man spaces”) further exasperated the beta male problem because it eliminated the only real opportunity for men to discuss what actually DOES turn women on.

Creates pickup artist culture. There have always been men that were “players.” Their only interest was hooking up with as many women as possible. These were the untamable alpha males of yesteryear. It was a tough gig, though. They had to prey on younger unattached women, unhappily married women that couldn’t land an alpha (yes, betas have always been around), or women that were divorcees or widows (significant during times of war.)

Oh, how times have changed. First, there are A LOT more unattached younger women given the average age of marriage has increased from around 19 to the late 20’s. Second, there are a lot fewer alpha competitors. Third, there are a lot more women in unhappy marriages to beta males. Fourth, there are a lot more divorced women. Finally, there are a lot more women in their 30s that are getting increasingly more desperate because they failed to land an alpha back when they were at their peak value.

All of these dynamics lead to a pickup artist’s wet dream. A marginally attractive guy with even a minimal amount of confidence and decent style, with very little effort, can easily get all the pussy he can handle. It’s like a ‘roided-up Barry Bonds hitting homers off a 12-year-old on a Little League field. There’s an ample supply of young, fun, sexually-adventurous college-age girls looking for random hookups. There’s an ample supply of independent, intelligent, sexy young professional women looking for not-so-serious physical relationships. There’s an ample supply of unhappily married desperate-to-please MILFs looking for some discreet no strings attached flings. There’s an ample supply of recently-divorced gym rat women desperate to relive their party-girl years. And that’s just the under-40 pool.

It’s no surprise pickup artistry is becoming more and more popular. Sadly for the beta male, his outrage and disgust over the actions of the pickup artist prevent him from seeing the unfortunate truth – the pickup artist “gets” women thousand times more than he will ever hope.

Conclusion

The proliferation of the beta male has and continues to radically change our society. For women, this means the pool of quality men is forever shrinking which forces women to settle far more than they would have in the past. That “settling” for a beta almost always results in a relationship that erodes into a nearly-sexless “roommate” situation that eventually ends in divorce. For men, this means we have the choice to be a replaceable, mostly insignificant bit player in the lives of women resulting in a bitter, resentful, lonely end OR embrace our alphas and either bury ourselves in the readily available and enthusiastic vagina or settle in a mutually-fulfilling long-term relationship where we can leverage our alphaness to keep the passion alive indefinitely.

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Henry Moore

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